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Have you ever, did something wrong for a couple of times; you know you did it, but someone has had enough with your bullshit & you can't do anything to make them come back? To make them okay with you like things used to? To make them not pissed off about you, to make them trust you back? Yeah, I'm one of this kind of stupid people, selfish & didn't think properly before doing something. That moment when words are fucking useless & I made people leave, by myself. By my own fucking self. I decided to blog this out because I am so pissed with myself. I didn't appreciate everything that I had, until God decide to take them back. For example; happiness. For the second time, I am selfish. I'm only thinking about myself, my own feelings, not other people's feelings. I'm only thinking about my own happiness, until people decide to leave me for their own happiness. & I can't do anything, except accepting the fact that I am a bad person. 

Today, I didn't do well in class. I was sleepy as fuck so I drank a tin of Nescafe, latte to be precise, & I fucked up. I can't stop shivering & well, I think I made my own suicidal move. I puked everything I ate for lunch. & why am I telling you about this? Oh um I'm talking to myself. So I stopped everything, I dropped myself in my deep thoughts, thinking about what is happening & before I went napping, I thought about the sins I did. Randomly.

Not trying to be proud for not being a saint but I, myself, am not a good Muslim. I skipped my prayers, did some shits, a liar, not appreciating everything I had & I was lost. No, don't blame my parents. They're very good in teaching their kids to be a good Muslim. People might think I'm innocent but everybody is not perfect, right? I asked my dad some questions about prayers, & I don't know, I went straight to the toilet, took my wudhu' & did my Zuhur prayer. & I feel so peaceful for a while.

For the first time, I cried in my prayer. That feeling when you just spill out everything, when you have no one to talk to. When people didn't know what's your problem that you're facing, alone. I didn't tell my friends, my parents, anyone. Yeah I do looked dreadful at school today but when they asked me what's wrong; I said "I'm fine, I took a caffeinated drink & I wanna puke. One wrong move, then your uniform will be my tissue."

But still, I am mad with myself. For making a lot of trouble to people. I feel like I wanna move away from here so that they're happy. Because they had enough with my selfish needs, & I think that's the only way to make them okay like nothing happened. To make them stop being mad at me. But now, I don't know what to do.

About everything but not quite everything....

I have a lot of thing to share with you. A lot.

Don't be excited.

Hiiiiiii guuuyyyssss. It's been a while. Nope. Bhahaha ok I’ve drank a cup of Nescafe and I think I’ve took too much caffeine. I don’t know how to start! It’s Syawal obviously, everyone are celebrating Raya, wishing ‘Selamat Hari Raya’ and stuffs and I‘ve celebrated my Raya at Tapah, Perak, my hometown. I can sense that this year’s Raya are boring. But who cares, when I’m growing up; things change too.

Before I wanna update anything, I would like to give a birthday shout-out to my bestfriend (yang maybe tengah marah aku sebab tak ingat sangat birthday dia hurmmzzz) Nur Huda, who turned 15 today! Jap jap nak cari gambar kitaorang berdua....

I'm sorry weh, I know your birthday were just around the corner but I just can't sure which day. Sigh, I know you're mad at me :(((((( *marks your birthday date on next year's calendar* nak belikan kau apa ek for this year......... since kau dah belikan aku macam macam :') I love you, my dear sehidup semati fwend, rakan seperjuangan. Kita selalu gaduh, cakap benci sana sini but look now? We have each other. No matter what, you'll always be my best friend. Maafkanlah aku di bulan Syawal ni haaa jangan lupa kek ketupat rendang yang aku nak buatkan untuk kau dengan Nazurah lol I'll try to get one whole cake hahahaha (matilah aku HAHAHA jk jk)

Disebabkan dah pukul 12 lebih....... nak update pasal raya dekat kampung macam tak sesuai, parents dah bebel. Tomorrow, maybe? Promise! Banyak nak share ni haiyooo asal time laju sangat haish

What a lovely day to be 'happy'.

This is yesterday's post. Sort of out of schedule hehehe

It's Saturday and I've did a lot of things today. Yeah, things that productive. Yeah.

Sekolah ganti kena datang. Kehadiran dikira. Wajib. Blahblah I only came to school today because sleeping at home is kind of boring on a beautiful windy Saturday. So I went to school and there's only like, less then 70 students came and there's a lot of teachers that didn't come to school either (termasuklah guru kelas aku yang sepatutnya ambil kehadiran tetapi dia ingat murid-murid dia malas nak datang sekolah... haktuihh) so I felt a lil bit of regret at first but it's okay, I've got the chance to watch Dato Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar's dvd for free hihi. After that the teachers let us wandering around the school so me and Nazurah decided to join our friends hanging out at the open hall. Some of them were used to be my classmates. We took photos and definitely, I miss them.

Then after school, I rushed to Yamaha section 9 because me and my sister have to perform a song that we've learnt. To cut things short, my turn is early and I've messed up a little bit. But it's my first time performing for Yamaha, but it's still embarrassing because my sister nailed everything well. We heard others played the guitars, violins, drums. I can't believe some of the guitarists were in my Facebook friends list lol they looked different.... and all of them is cool. And we've got ourselves a certificate. And a free gift. Then I met AJ. He's my one of my best buds from primary and I think I was too excited when I see him.

They're cool and I can't believe one of them were in my following on Twitter lol

He's thin now. Dulu comel bulat je masa sekolah rendah hihi :>

After all of this, I went home and tried to sleep but my annoying sister forced me to watch Running Man with her. Then, viruses came to invade my body. Earlier this morning, I had a bad sore throat and now I have flu. Ugh I have cheer practice tomorrow and I have to do the twist cradle. Fuck.

Don't you realize that I have a lot of guy friends? Don't get me wrong.... I'm always awkward when I'm around beautiful girls and Shah Alam's full of beautiful girls. Sighs.

Sorry for the low quality pictures. Used my phone to take pictures since my camera's charger was lost. Maybe it was used to play skipping by some unicorns of mine. Stupid unicorns, I gave them too much Skittles.

A trip to remember. - Day 1

Assalamualaikum and hi! Since I'm under the weather, I will not try to talk much. I'm having a serious case of flu, asthma and cough like a frog. So pray me to get well soon! And I also skipped yesterday and today's cheer practice, I'm hoping that they're not mad at me since they put high hopes on me :'/ sorry for the drastic condition, my beloved squad :( Back to the main topic, from last Sunday until last Thursday, I went to Bali with my dad's staffs and family. Most of them brought their children along so the trip was cheerful.

We woke up very early than usual time. 5 in the morning, something like that? We went to my dad's office, meet the others and straight to the airport. Late. Because we waited for some people and yeah, but not too late. Whatever it is, we're at the airport on time.

Look at the 6-7 a.m. scenery. Nice.

Having breakfast while watching airplanes departure.

This store reminds me of someone :')

I didn't sleep on the plane, I'm enthusiastic! I played Temple Run while eating, eat eat eat until arrived at the Denpasar airport. Now, let me bring the Bali aura to you. (ceeeeeh! Don't face palm me)

We got those flower necklace and it looked very fancy lol :3 but the smell... too fragrant. After we arrived, a guy with Hawaiian shirt introduced himself and he was our tour guide. Blahblahblah, we went to a restaurant for lunch while our big bags have sent to the hotel.

I'm starving on that time.

Ni namanya..... um jap tanya ayah dulu.

Then, we went to this temple. Ok I'm suck at remembering name of some places that I've never been before. and I've kept delaying this post so let's put some pictures with captions only, shall we? And I'm still sick, remember? So I'm not in the mood of telling stories.

...................

Okay this pills for flu is drowsy. Part 2 will coming soon! Stay tuned.

I just can't resist looking at this... my ovaries..... oh god this is adorablezz

Found on my Echelon sister's Tumblr, Zuleikha

Did I make you feel.. something?

 

It takes time for me to get back on writing something here. Lost the loads of ideas to express since a lot of hard things going on in real life. But no matter how big it was, I'm still keeping it all in and try not to be over dramatic. And hey, still got the chance to drop by here aight? You know me :)

How's life, people? Don't ask me why I'm asking y'guys. Mine... ups and downs, as usual. But the down moments were little bit harder than I thought but yeah, trying to be cool but unfortunately, end up crying alone in a dark room. My parents, friends are the peoples who push me up harder than before, but I'm expecting the another one person who help them bringing me back. Someone who used to be supportive, someone who used to be understandable. I could not thinking what have happened to him right now that made him changed. I know he is now one of the people who's free from school, and soon to be legal to do such things as driving and living in college while I'm here, stuck in myself. I'm used to be emotional, like now, but I won't asking for more than love, from him after this. Expecting and asking for more is too desperate and heartbreaking.

Other than that, I'm kind of disappointed with him and it's hard to say this since I'm having my ego taking over my mind but I'm disappointed with myself, too. I don't know what to say since I'm too egoistic and mad to tell him by myself for some reasons. I don't want to talk bad stuffs about my own boy but I am too fucking mad about this until I can cry in front of this bloody monitor while typing with this damn keyboard. To avoid controversial things going on, I'll cover it by telling some tips about, yeah you should read. Especially for those who's in a long-distance relationship.

#1 If you're in a serious, long-distance relationship and haven't met for a couple of months, you should be considerate about your girl's/boy's feelings (most of the emotional parts is from the girls. Don't believe me? Check your girl's Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr.). Don't be TOO friendly to people. Nak kawan, okay je. Senang cerita, kalau kau lelaki, jangan add perempuaaan je dekat Facebook (especially kalau add semua perempuan cantik je. Pergh.). Kalau kau perempuan, Jangan nak IM je dengan lelaki.

#2 Send them a very good morning/good night text. If you're working and arrived home at 11 or something liddat, you should text them "Are you still awake?" (text laa sweet sweet, aiyoo). If they reply, don't be like "Ohh gtg, sleepy. Text me goodnight text. Bye." or didn't text at all because you're too fucking sleepy while she's/he's already waiting for you to get home. Lagi kesian if they are sleepy but you're acting like a sdfghjds jerk. Kalau dia macam sabar gila nak mati, please give them kudos. If you're too sleepy, just say that you're too tired and need to sleep or give them night phonecalls ke, chicks digs guys who have sleepy voice. Jangan selalu pulak cakap mengantuk mengantuk, kesian dia.

If they didn't reply, just give them a very sweet goodnight text. Tell them that you missed him/her, and express your feelings laah. Let them know you're there for them. You don't know what have they been through on that day. I repeat, don't be such a jerk.

#3 Don't hide anything. Don't fucking hide anything. Just tell them where you are now, who are you with, or whatever. Maybe for you, it's kind of weird to do such thing. Don't hide anything in Facebook, in Twitter. They'll be a mad stalker when they're missing you so badly. Okay here's a funny story of mine. I knew his Facebook password and I can open it whenever I feel so lonely and suspicious about something. C'mon, if you're a protective girlfriend, you'll know my feelings when you have a boyfriend yang macam open-minded or gatal ke whatever lah. So, for girls yang rajin sangat IM my boyfriend benda benda yang boleh buat I jealous, better watch out. Maybe some of them dah kenal but yeah, just watch out. Tapi kalau sedara ke family, tak kisah haha peace ^^v don't be scared, I won't kill you or something. Just being protective since he didn't pay attention to me right now and luahkan dekat other girls. I am sad. Faham tak?

#4 Make them feel more important and special than your ex. Okay, this one ah.. that's why I've highlighted it with other colour. I'll make this short and simple (which is clearly not short and simple). Don't talk to your ex more than your partner. For example; you replied your partner's texts in a very short message while you're chatting with your ex about everything. Your partner will be so fucking sad and offended because they've waited for you, they also wanted to know about you since they're 'your everything'. If your ex is your bestfriend........ I can't say no more but please, control it. If your partner already know you before your ex (that means y'guys have been friends before going into the next level), think about their feelings. I don't really care if you stick with the 'still friends with ex' statement and you still can be friends like your ex but most of the people say it's not good contacting your ex back because they're your mistakes, they're your past. You know what I mean, right? Yeah, I do contact my ex but I'm still regret about having him as my boyfriend back then. And if I can do such things, I want him to extinct because I want to concentrate with my current relationship but obviously from my own post, my boyfriend isn't concentrate with his current relationship. With me. No hate.

Wow, what a long post. Sighs, I'm expressing this because I don't want people to be sad like me because of this kind of situation. I don't want people to be more sadder than I am. From the girls/boys who got the same situation like I am, please be patient. I know you're disappointed but I know it'll lead to a better place, better situations. Be positive. I have a lot things in mind to say about this but I can't describe it to my fingers. Oh to some people, don't be offended to my post. I was just expressing like all people do.

Till the next post, then! I don't know when's the free time to blog. And I don't have any idea what to type. Hahaha ok ciao.

Friends!

I can't believe I've found my 'friend' on Twitter! Well he's not really my friend but I knew him because 4 years ago, he's a new kid in school (we're Standard 6 back then) and he's a nerd. A cute nerd and some kids mocked him, used him as a joke but my friends and I thinks he's cute....... hahahaha with his bowl-shape hair and he's quiet omg but now he's kind of cool. His name is Fawwaz. Yeah maybe my friends still remember about him. Fawwaz, if you're reading this then don't bangga sangat tau. We're one of your black history and dark past~ ceh!

Well, got to go. Itu je yang aku nak cakap sebenarnya. Random... ciao! x

Suck my guts.

What's going on in here? Hey I've added a new music player on the bottom of my blog and there's some songs that I've picked and put it as a playlist. So if you don't like the current music playing, just click the next button. If you don't have your fav song.... I'm sorry! You can see the songs' name//what's in the playlist at the 'Heroes who expressed my feelings through music' page. And if you don't hear it, simply pump up the volume from the playlist and if you still can't find your volume, turn up your volume of your computer's speakers. Hope you like it as much as I do! :> thank you, SCM Music Player and YouTube!

Damn I miss The Wheels. The music who blew my mind away while I'm skating with my friends, the sound of our laughter when we take our break. The tension that we released at the atmosphere, the sadness that goes away by the wind of our movement. The pain that we've been through is gone through the falls and bruises. The cash that we've spent is worth for it. Burned a lot of cash $$ and act like a boss. Even though it's just a disco skating place but people like me can appreciate it. And I even make some new friends (yeah, right..) and meet some people. So that proves I'm not an anti-social type of gal who hates the society. Yipee. I really want to go there with Rasyid but... nevermind.

Am I still a kid? Some people called me this and it offends me. I'm just surviving this world with an open mind and yes, I still don't understand about reality. I'm still living with a caring parents (plus my very annoying sister) and I feel loved. I don't have a job (if the government allow 15 years old kids work at the fast food outlet, well COUNT ME IN!), I don't have money. It proves that I'm under my parents' supervision. That doesn't mean I'm a spoil brat. Yeah, my dad always said if I want anything, just tell him. But I'm avoiding that to happen because I've always wanted to try to be independent. Even though he said like that, he always make me work hard for it. Like studying and prove to him that I'll never give up. But I don't want like that. That's desperation. Desperation for stuffs. Not sincerely to have knowledge if I'm acting like that. I don't know what I'm talking about right now but, if you know what I meant, well thank you very much. But please don't call me a kid. Not by my physical appearance. In a mentally way, calling me like that is just bullshit.

By this post, I'm desperately need money to buy stuffs by my own. Just to make me satisfy. Hey, everybody does having this kind of dilemma, right? Okay I should stop this crap out. Got to go!

Au revoir! x

Smells like oranges.

Assalamualaikum and hello there! Ahh it's been a while since I didn't tell rants and complains about my life. Busy with school, of course! I don't have the time to open the computer and log in and stuffs. My first day of school is okay, and I'm now a morning session student. Well, it's cool. The teachers aren't mean like what I have expected. My classmates were also incredibly awesome. Even though they're quiet and I'm the only one who laughed like a donkey with my fellow besties. But I can't hold on with the homeworks. Makes my brain dysfunctional.

What's up with your life so far? Pretty neat? Going down a little harder? Mine's in between. "Okay, here we go again." By the way, my homeworks are really fucked up so I'd better get going. I don't have the idea to talk about! *cries cries cries* See yaa laterzzz. *cries and make disappointing faces*

Say you don't want it.

What's up, teenagers of the world? I can't believe it's already 2012. And I'm definitely don't want to think about school. Yes, I'm going to be 15 and I'll be a junior, again. I guess I have to think about it. But I can't wait to meet my friends! And my future classmates will be so awesome. All I know was Nazurah, my bestfriend, will be my classmate ^^ Huda and Afif will also be in my class. Weeee I'll be a happy kid when facing PMR. I hope the teachers aren't mean, but I'll face them since they'll be serious when it comes to teach students who will face PMR.. shit. I want to be organized, for sure! I don't want to be depressed :'(

Lately, I've watched MTV World Stage 2011 on television (a lot, since I've recorded it.) and I don't know why but I'm so emotionally thinking back about that day where I've hung out with my boy and my uncle plus with his dope ass friend. It was fantastically perfect, indeed. I don't have the pictures since the ticket says that cameras are not allowed but my uncle sneak his digital camera in his pocket but the pictures was so... funny. Not appropriate to view here, lol. Obviously from your thoughts about this topic, you can say that I am missing this moments.

Oh hey! Since the school's will opening soon, I think I'll be not updating this blog like usual. Maybe 3 times a week or maybe once a week? The most extreme that will happen is once a month... I'll be post something on this baby. Hope you guys understand me. But I'll be 24/7 on Twitter since I'm using TweetCaster for Android. Or not. Facebook? Kalau dah sekarang pun jarang, apatah lagi nanti. Hehe peace out!

Washed out from the shore

Once again, a friendly reminder; it's the last day of 2011. The year that was full of sweet memories, fucked up mistakes, cat fights and friendly helps, trips that will be unforgettable and met new peoples. But I miss 2009 and 2010 more. The years that I have choked with laughter, like 2011 but more 'less worries'. Maybe this year I'll be not fully happy, but eventually someday, someday, I'll be. My dream of keeping my hair longer after it has been cut in 2010 came true! It's not long like flawless girls do but I still can tie it. I love my ponytail hihihi okay shattap. I really do praying for 2012 will be the year that will filled with memories more than this year. No more pain. Okay, less pain. And I'll be facing PMR. Second nightmare. InsyaAllah I can face it. I would love to make a time table since I'm in morning session now. After school, I'll have tuition or besides that, going elsewhere to study with my girls and hanging out. I hope my parents give permission to do so... Alhamdulillah my dad said that there's no need to tension because he gave me permission to score 6A's out of 8. But I'll will work hard and try to not give up to score it. And honestly, I hope I'm alive until 2014 because I've always wanted to go to a prom and gowns with stuffs like that..... hihi ok I'm dreaming. InsyaAllah!

So, what's your 2012 resolutions? Play a music instrument? Try to bake or cook? Still studying? Studying hard like I will? I'm going to be so fucking busy next year and hope if you don't mind if I don't update this blog 'regularly'. I have studies and school activities to maintain, extra-curricular, piano classes, and more. My mom said if I can't cope any of these, she suggested me to drop out from cheerleading. I'll try to be less tension, and InsyaAllah everything's going to be fine. I hope so.

So, my last words for this post;

Happy New Year and best of luck to survive 2012

Hope you guys have a great New Year's Eve party tonight with your love ones.

I wish I can watch fireworks and go to a party.

Bulletproof Love

Ahh, what a day. Cheerleading practice is quite hard today and yes I admit, I'm feeling the 'animal spirits' now since the other flyers were younger than me and they nailed the hard part! I can't describe how it saddens me when I didn't want to shivers too hard but it came more worse than I thought. I admit (again), I think I love to be the one who got thrown up and down but the main problem is; I'm too scared of heights. How can I overcome this phobia?! By bungee jumping? Climb up to the Eiffel Tower?

I'm tired to continue this post. It's supposed to be last night's post but my sister accidently shut down the computer. Bye!

Mindfuuuuu-

Hey hoooooo it's Thursday midnight slash morning already!! Yesterday went to The Wheels with... oh you didn't know what is it? It's a skating hang out spot, err it's like disco skating. Alaaah you what is it. Rollerblades, rollerskates, like the movie Whip It? Yeah, like that! But it's not a competition okay? Oh my god, I love that fucking movie. Okay, continue. I went there with Filzah, Hanis, Huda, Tasha, Wan, Alma and Deeya. Yeaaah today, we took the place down bebeeeh. We arrived there like, 11:54 a.m.? Tak ramai gila duhh. Then, a pack of people came there and stole our spotlight. Ceh. Alma taught me to skate and it went purrrfectly even though I have fall for like, almost 10 times? Thank god I'm a fast learner.

For a while, I'm skating alone since Alma knew I can do it by myself. Because of that, I've hit a stranger. Cute stranger, though. My heart sank and the guilty thoughts coming through my mind like a... rabbit? Ok whatever. I can't get up and he lend his hands. I'm too nervous to say thanks or sorry, I went off to another place. Sorry stranger! :'s

Thanks Alma, for teaching me! I really need a pair of in-line skates.... okay seriously I'm too excited to accept the fact that I can skate, while dancing. Excited gila dengar lagu We Found Love and Champagne Showers masa skating. But it's the best when go skating with your girls for a day. Ahh what a day.

Oh, gtg. My dad dah suruh tidur. Sorry, guna bahasa rojak pula post ni. Nak cepat :s Bye loves xx

Fiddlesticks.

Last night was crazy! Twitter is being stupid by making a fake rempit as their trend and I would blame people who brought him up. Yes I'm freaking jealous with that fag because of his fakeness. Lol-ed, I was just joking. Apit, I hate you. Yesterday, me and my fellow friends went to the cinema to watch Songlap. It's freaking boooring. Not worth of buying 10 ringgits for the ticket. Thank you Shaheizy Sam for making that movie less boring. Then, we have our lunch at Pizza Hut and after that we straight to The Wheels. I've spend 85 ringgit for their tickets including me so yeah, I'd feel the blessings from my friends hehe (Y) First time rollerblading! Seriously, eventhough I'm not the pro and at that time I've hoped that I'll fall but it turned out perfectly. I didn't fall, I've learned to balance myself and yes, it's fucking awesome. Next Wednesday, we'll go there again!

Enough about yesterday, today I'm doing some stretchings and piano practices. Piano class starts tomorrow and I'll be dead. Because of what? I didn't text the piano teacher about my vacation and she was mad for not mentioning her about that. I didn't text her because I thought ayah's going to text her since I've lost her number. But then........ she texted me about that day's class when I was at Beijing. ahh what a regret.

Hmm. But a thing that have made my day was received a compliment from Tumblr about this blog. Ahh thank you readers, I was hoping that this blog will be not a train wreck :') *virtual hug for everybody that reads this blog from A to Z* I love you guys!

Stiffed.

2012 is around the corner and I'm sorry for lack of updates lately. I'm completely stuck in a lot of situations and vacations. Frankly I've been avoiding social networks because I didn't have a lot of time, insignificant problems, small matters, and whatnot. Yes, if you insists to know; I have problems with my love life. Yup, but it's not that important. We'll be alright if there's anything happened. I can't believe that I have said this. Hmm.

2011 sucks. Sucks rotten eggs and drink a glass of lumpy milk for brunch. But yet there's a lot of hell fun on their way to change 11 to 12. I would thank 2011 for making me happy for only 48% over 100. Omg what am I crapping about. I'm excited for the new year come. Honestly. But I definitely not excited about being a PMR candidate. No, no, no. And now, a new thing will be on my schedule. Cheerleading. Haaa so here's the story. Adria asked me to be in my school's squad. I'm a bit nervous and yes, I must be nervous. Met new people, and the first day of training, I've picked as a flyer. Y'know, the one who's being picked up and make stunts and all that? Yeah, I know I'm small but I have frights. Fear of all tall places. Wow. And I'm hard to collaborate with the dance steps and I'm not flexible. They said that it's okay but for me, it's not. I'm scared, what if they don't like me because I'm hard and I'm not east to flex? How?.. and I'm embarrassed because some of the juniors were quicker than I am O.o there's an awkward moment though.

That's not all, I'm nothing. I didn't know how to make any styles like cartwheel, or star jumps until you can touch your toe, or high jumps. I'm working hard for reaching it. I'm working hard for being flexible. I will not give-up. For my school. I accept the offer because first, I face the fact that I love watching cheerleading. So fun, so confident. Second, they have problems with numbers of the team. So maybe..... they need someone or me. Maybe.

Forget about it. It's my problem! I'm not being active lately, I'm a lazy-ass, not like others. They're active, they dance and everything. Ahhh insecurities.. but I love them. Seriously :') and now I have cramps. It's been a while! Yeah, I'm that lazy. I didn't jog, so maybe after this I'll be active for cheerleading. My mom also courage me to enter the squad before. Because she wants me to be more feminine, more active, more confident. And she will support me and the squad. She also said that I need more nutrition and she will join my healthy lifestyle. Okay I'll stop.

The truth is, I'm excited. I'm excited to be active again. That's all. I don't think about other things.

Oh by the way, tomorrow I'll be going to Subang Parade with my gegurlz to watch Shaheizy Sam's new movie. I didn't know much the title is but it's going to be awesome. I wish Rasyid can come so I can treat him some popcorn and the movie ticket for pay back the drama that I have cause to him. And for saying that I'm sorry for everything. And for saying that I love him. *deep sighs*

Sun, it's Sunday.

It's raining, the whole afternoon is like so dark and thumps of thunders, lightnings strikes with full of vicious, deathly lines of electricity. The sun was hidden behind the dark clouds, and I'm in my house, watching Smurfs. It's cold for a girl wearing brown shorts and a big, thin t-shirt and a small messy bun at my hair. I wore those and I make that hair do because today is spring cleaning! The computer desk upstairs were arranged. The stuffs that hoarded in the boxes were taken out, and the deserted area were full of dead skin cells that was turned into clumps of grey dusts. Yucks, I'm allergic to dust. Yeah, I'm officially having minor cold right now. As always, I've found a lot of things that reminds me of my primary school, my old friends. I miss back then when I'm absolutely nothing. My front baby teeth were one by one 'disappeared' that time (my Aunt Mama told me some mouse took them when I was asleep because my teeth were so cute) and I'm extremely short. A few hours before, I've found my primary school's sports t-shirt. Damn I'm small, back then I was too hesitated to wear that at school because it was so big for me. Now, I'm hesitate to wear my high-school sports t-shirt because it's big (what comes around, comes around.)

Then I found my book that was used as a game. Zoo Game. You have to 'sign up' (a lot of imaginations back then, a lot of it..) and you can customize your own dream zoo. I've drawn a lot of cute animals (I can show you if you want to) and it's proper cage and stuffs like that. But it each person has limited amount of money. 1 million, I think? Well, it's enough because I gave all of the stuffs in appropriate prices lol. So fun for me to play by myself that time... because I don't give a fuck. I just sit at one place by my own and play in that book. Isn't that cute?

I think I don't want to throw that book into the plastic bag. I think I want to keep it. I can do it again, in my room, alone.. or with Tinkerbell. Yeah, she likes pencils. And books.

Oh my god I can't wait for my room to finish! My mom showed me the plan, and she told me it's kind of huge for a teenage like me. Not trying to be a bragger but I'm so effin' excited! Now I'm living in a rented house with my family for a while. So, I'm feeling the excitement to the max. I'm excited because I'll have a permanent house InsyaAllah. I'm jealous with my friend, having their own room (eventhough some of them were have to share with someone) but they have the nicest room ever. Me so jelly.

Plus, I can't wait to watch movies with my gegurlz and him. My friends (especially Hanish Sheckler) always remind me if we can hang out. But unfortunately I'm having problems with my schedule (beat up a business man's schedule) and Rasyid will start his job at Jusco Bukit Raja next two weeks. Nevermind, I'll reschedule and yes, I need some time with my friends before next year. I'm a PMR candidate, yikes!

He's like Justin Bieber. Totally random, I know.

Take it or leave it.

Why oh why do they have to be so cute? Hnngg

Due to the busy thangs, I didn't get the chance to update this blog and I'm apologizing about that folks.

The school holiday at Hong Kong was superb. I really want to tell you about the whole journey but I'm out of ideas and if I tell you, you might end up sleeping in front of ze computer, leaving your Tumblr alone. Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Yesterday, Hanis and Kamilia didn't come to school so that's just major bored. Science, Kemahiran Hidup and Bahasa Malaysia results came out and I didn't score well but it's cool and I'm just proud of myself because I've made an improvement in Bahasa Malaysia. Science, no comment. Kemahiran Hidup? Well, it's okay. I'm frustrated about the marks even though they're okay. If there's no extra marks, I'll get under 60% or something.

Today, I've got Maths, it's sucks. Real. Hard. Well y'know, I didn't have the Maths swag so I'm having a hard time to cope on Maths and I really need to focus next time. Teehee. Oooh and English. I got the highest mark in class for English! *shrieks* I don't mean to brag but, when y'guys have achieved something that highest among the rest, you must be proud right? Well, I am. It's still need some improvement but Alhamdulillah, good for this year.

So let's see;

                      Science                : 72% B

                      Kemahiran Hidup : Don't remember, zzzz

                      Bahasa Melayu    :  74% B

                      Maths                  : 47% D -.-

                      English                 : 82% A

Well that's for now, hihi.

By the way, I have a new pet now! A kitten. Actually he's still a baby (yes it's a male) and this stupid family dumped him at Guardian (A pharmacy and convenient store and it's near from my tuition center) and they separate him from his mother. Poor baby, he still needs milk from his mother. I can't understand why they do that. What if their children get separated from them? He's cute though, I really can't understand.

As I have said before (I have deleted a lot of the long posts that really bugs me out, sorry for the inconvenience guys), I really have a lot of pet, before this. But now I have a kitten and a pair of rabbits. I'll be responsible after this!