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Have you ever, did something wrong for a couple of times; you know you did it, but someone has had enough with your bullshit & you can't do anything to make them come back? To make them okay with you like things used to? To make them not pissed off about you, to make them trust you back? Yeah, I'm one of this kind of stupid people, selfish & didn't think properly before doing something. That moment when words are fucking useless & I made people leave, by myself. By my own fucking self. I decided to blog this out because I am so pissed with myself. I didn't appreciate everything that I had, until God decide to take them back. For example; happiness. For the second time, I am selfish. I'm only thinking about myself, my own feelings, not other people's feelings. I'm only thinking about my own happiness, until people decide to leave me for their own happiness. & I can't do anything, except accepting the fact that I am a bad person. 

Today, I didn't do well in class. I was sleepy as fuck so I drank a tin of Nescafe, latte to be precise, & I fucked up. I can't stop shivering & well, I think I made my own suicidal move. I puked everything I ate for lunch. & why am I telling you about this? Oh um I'm talking to myself. So I stopped everything, I dropped myself in my deep thoughts, thinking about what is happening & before I went napping, I thought about the sins I did. Randomly.

Not trying to be proud for not being a saint but I, myself, am not a good Muslim. I skipped my prayers, did some shits, a liar, not appreciating everything I had & I was lost. No, don't blame my parents. They're very good in teaching their kids to be a good Muslim. People might think I'm innocent but everybody is not perfect, right? I asked my dad some questions about prayers, & I don't know, I went straight to the toilet, took my wudhu' & did my Zuhur prayer. & I feel so peaceful for a while.

For the first time, I cried in my prayer. That feeling when you just spill out everything, when you have no one to talk to. When people didn't know what's your problem that you're facing, alone. I didn't tell my friends, my parents, anyone. Yeah I do looked dreadful at school today but when they asked me what's wrong; I said "I'm fine, I took a caffeinated drink & I wanna puke. One wrong move, then your uniform will be my tissue."

But still, I am mad with myself. For making a lot of trouble to people. I feel like I wanna move away from here so that they're happy. Because they had enough with my selfish needs, & I think that's the only way to make them okay like nothing happened. To make them stop being mad at me. But now, I don't know what to do.

Ping!

How to starts this *shrieks*. Hi guys! In the previous post, I said that I want to share almost everything with you since I didn't update daily like I used to. And everything you will get! Kind of. Hehe okay nak cakap pasal apa dulu.... oh I know! About my Eid celebration. I celebrated mine at my hometown in Tapah, Perak. My grandparents there are my mom's parents so.. yeah. All of her siblings (she only had 2 brothers) celebrated their Eid there, too. I'm already at Perak 2 days before Eid. Cooked rendang and ketupat, iftar with cousins for the first time this year. And like previous years, we all sat infront of the tv, waited for the Eid announcement. So, can we start with the pictures then?

"Dah macam anak dara dah..." - almost everyone in the house.

Gossiping.

Meh meh laa singgah makan cornflakes, tarts, kerepeksss.

Rendang in the making!

Everything up there happened on last 2 days of fasting. And here, 1st day of Eid.

Hey, have you seen a kid in baju Melayu that has the same colour as this year's curtains wandering around here? Been looking for that cheeky kid for the whole day.

Spotlight of the month.

Candids/tryouts before family photos!

My grandfather's the boss. Dia tak gerak langsung from that sofa. From sesi bermaaf-maafan.

Is not your family's turn, Alif.

Just wanna show how awesome my atuk is.

Okay! This is my paklong's family.

I love my one and only old cousins lol.

Next, my family. Ceyy my mother's family lah.

Sucks for having bad photos. Sucks for not having a tripod. Sucks, it looks like in rush because there's kids datang beraya, kutip duit raya jeeee.

And lastly, my acu's little family huhu

Haha look at that little kid

Wanna see the kids who made us in a rush?

Bad-ass.

So we went beraya to great grandparents's house in the village. They're so cute! But I didn't take pictures with them, they're busy chatting with their grandchildren (which is my mom and my uncles haha).

"I saw a bird... I don't give a sheet."

-

Hey believe it or not, I bake french macarons at my hometown! Eyyy I have proof okay, some pictures. 1st time baking - epic fail. So, here it is.

Only some of them survived. But then they got eaten.

1st time eating a french pastry in her life. "Rasa macam orang omputih dah." and she said it's good but not good for old folks because it's made 89% from sugar lol

I made these on a sunny evening. What flavor? Chocolate macarons with Nutella filling. It's scrumptious until habis dimakan oleh monster-monster dalam rumah. Even though tak lawa and cracked and tak macam macaron yang korang makan dekat patisseries mahal tu hmm.

Disebabkan tak puas hati, I decided to make flavor lain on the next day. Habis dapur opah. And I did but double the failure tsk tsk

It looks fine, doesn't it? (Just say yes..) But what made this an epic fail? The filling. I put sugar-free strawberry jam. It tasted good, and I put these babies in a tupperware and put it in the fridge. After a few hours, the macarons are soaked and lembik macam makanan baby. It's all the jam's fault! I didn't know that will happen so at the end, buang dalam tong sampah. Fuuuuuuuuu-

You all should be in people's bellies, not the trash can.

And that's how my Eid went, kind of. I didn't show my pictures of the apologizing session, the pictures are all shaky and not good for some people's eyesight. At least I cared about my readers do'oh. (Sebenarnya tak nak tunjuk muka lepas menangis LOLJK)

"That's all, Afina? Kata ada banyak lagi nak share?!"

Wait, wait.... sabar! Kalau ada masa terluang right now and nak isikan masa with things that will blow your mind (not your cock) away, stay tuned...

Lately, I watched Vsauce's videos on YouTube and they always share about the things that's cool and stuffs. The things are really gfajigajlghiofj (I'm speechless) so I decided to go to the websites that sell cool things from movies, comics, and stuffs (which Vsauce has promoted). If you're like me (who likes weird stuffs), you'll be amazed?

1. Society6

They sell art prints. Cool art prints. For iPhone cases, hoodies, canvas and more.

You better go to their website; society6.com

More art prints and beautiful artworks to be mesmerized, go check them out!

2. FredFlare.com

I went to their website because Vsauce showed their colourful rollerskates or something like that.

They selling weird and colourful stuffs like pump shoes, and horse mask, and most of it are girls/women clothings. They're so cute and to die for!!; www.fredflare.com

3. Threadless.com

They sold t-shirts and hoodies and iPhone cases just like Society6 (since they're like, collaborating together or something) and they're like, cheap though.

They can made the design into guys' or girls' t-shirt. I can't stop drooling for this one cool hoodie with Mario features on it. ; threadless.com

YAAAY!

4. Luna & Curious

They sell weird but vintage, cute but sophisticated accessories (and clothings and other stuffs) and look at their name, really cute!

I'm in look with the dip-dyed feathers necklace ugh. So here's the website; shoplunaandcurious.com. Girls, serang!!

5. For geeks; thinkgeek.com

The sell EVERYTHING about Star Wars, and other scientific movies and action movies. They even sell chopsticks shaped like lightsabers.

You've been dragged to the Dark Side. ; thinkgeek.com

I need a damn credit card. I discovered some cool websites other than I've showed you today so I'll show all of it, after PMR or maybe on the next post?

Oh I really got to go! Tuition night T-T 'till the next post! Bye!