"Gambar kau dgn dia dkt Instagram dh tkda. Korang dh break ke?"

"He erased your name from his bio dkt Twitter, kau pun sama. Korang dh tkda pape ke?"

"Asal dh tk dgr cerita psl korang? Dh break?"

Ahh, that assumptions. That kind of questions. Nothing but a pain in the ass, to be extremely honest. Where should i start eh on this post? Yeap, it is cute that someone shares about how well their relationship; via Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram........ on everything. Even blogs, like me.

I'm not saying that it's totally fine to feel 'you should brag about your relationship 24/7' kind of thought, instead some people love to hide it from public but to myself, when i have someone i love i'm proud to have a guy who actually loves me for who i am & it's not wrong to share some pictures or videos about how cute he is (since he is mine so...) but depends on people, some of them didn't like to show off often. Maybe they posted a picture of them together with their partner but after a few days, they removed the picture.

Maybe they had a problem, or just plain 'for the sake of my own boredom' or 'maybe i should remove this & later i'll post more'. It's cool, lain lain org lain lain cara kan? But things started to be bad when some people assumed that they broke up.

I mean yeah, some of the couple maybe not succeed on holding things up but not every couples. I started to get questions like that since i deleted almost everything from my social networks & some people who cared (i dont think they cared, maybe some of them just being busybody or some shit) asked me if i'm fine or whatever after they assumed i broke up with someone i really love. Yes i am fine, maybe i had a problem or maybe I don't but seriously, some people who assumed i broke up with my boyfriend before asking really should just ask privately or whatsoever. But eventually things fell apart & we broke up. Moving on!

I do love posting something about my relationship because just like i said, i'm proud (but not being so proud like, bad kind of proud tu idk mcm mna nk explain) but i just don't want things like that to be a burden to my boyfriend (when i have one, lol). I have to respect his decision on being just totally humble (as long as no third party or anything involved) & it's normal for couples to argue & all until decided to not share things like that when some of them not really in a stable point.

To make things short, someone's relationship doesn't have to be under a spotlight and everybody's attention 24/7. When they tend to delete posts about their relationship, doesn't mean they are over. No one knows about their status more than they do. No one knows how far they went or what they have been through. You know nothing about them, about him and her, about me & stuffs. And things that they know, that i know, between the one that we love, are not 24/7 your matter.

Same goes to the people who said some couples aren't really looked like they are together just because they didn't look suitable together or they act like asshole to each other outside. You don't know how far their love went except themselves. They only share what happened between each other to closest friends and family or maybe they kept things to themselves. Stop making bad assumptions about couples. Stop making them feel bad. Stop spreading bad rumors. Just... stop and let them judge their own relationship.

p/s: updated this since i got through the huge break up but this is still thoughts from my mind & sort of a friendly reminder to those yang tersangat sangatlah busybody

Don't do anything stupid okay?

Alone; An emotional feeling you get when you feel that there is no one there to support you or, sometimes, love you.

Lonely; A feeling that is indescribable to those who have not felt it, and needs no description to those who have. That desolate feeling of being left out, left behind, and being all alone forever. This not only applies to love (though they bring the strongest effect) but also major life changes - graduation, deaths, etc.. It is the hole that appears in your heart, which cannot be filled by your efforts alone. In such a case, crying occurs and is often encouraged as it heals the soul. Example: "I want to be with her forever, but I know the day is coming where we'll never see each other again."

Some people didn't know how pain it is. Some people think it was disgusting because of their friends being so emotional because of this. Some people think this is fucking ridiculous, and menyampah gila dengan orang yang tengah down macam ni. This is because; they didn't feel like this yet. Or they're just some cold-hearted zombies who always think about themselves. If you feel like all above, please - don't. Or just don't show your 'disgusted' face or the 'oh-I-don't-fucking-care-about-that-actually' face when your friends have this kind of stories because you're the one who asked them why they looked so gloomy that day.

For the loner-feeling kids, you guys deserve to be and to feel loved every time. I'm saying this because I'm having this kind of 'disease' for 24/7 and it's sucks. I mean, I feel I'm invisible and only some people can see me and knew me well. People like me is rare, beautifully rare. I admit. I can love a human in such short time, I can make a person feel loved even thought they didn't make me feel like that, I'm helplessly romantic. For short, I'm a fucking unicorn. People who have same feelings like me right now is a fucking unicorn. Yes I'm being serious *gives magical horns to invisible people like me*. And even though I'm sad because my boyfriend dumped me because of some stupid reasons (and he lied to me), but my friends told me that he is blind and hoping that he will feel wasted for leaving me just like *snapping fingers* that (and at first, I think it was wrong).

He's the one who wasting his time (even though he's the one who wasted my money) because he's the one who flirted me when he's with his ex. He's the one who wasted because letting go a unicorn like me. Guys like him are just.... wasting their everything to girls like me. Seriously. Hope he's happy... when he realized that he's wrong for comparing girls and switching, played girls' fragile hearts.

Okay, stop talking about unicorns. Back to the topic. Even he did all that and I know he's wrong, I still feel lonely and feel unloved. I miss being called cute names like 'sayang'. This is why I feel lonely. When I'm madly in love, people were being single and they're happy. But when I'm single, almost all girls that I know have their partners that always make them feel beautiful, happy, loved. Hoping that I found someone exactly like him (because he's my dream boy, he has all the characteristics that I want. Except the sad parts.) or better than him. Okay lol I sound like I'm desperate for a boyfriend.

My point is, don't 'go with the flow' about your loneliness. You're not alone. Because there's hundred millions of people in this planet is having the same crisis and you're one of them. They cry every night before going to bed like you are. Reading love texts or romantic pictures because they feel they didn't deserve love like that like you are (or not). Hear sad songs because they feel lonely all the time, like you are. Or anything that you feel. Ugh I hope I can find people like this and hug them because well, we're in the same spot. Read the title of this post; even if you are lonely, don't do anything stupid like swallow pills because you feel lonely because of your unattractive presence (how many times do I have to say 'because'?). You're attractive in somebody's eyes and I know about that.

Did I make you feel.. something?

 

It takes time for me to get back on writing something here. Lost the loads of ideas to express since a lot of hard things going on in real life. But no matter how big it was, I'm still keeping it all in and try not to be over dramatic. And hey, still got the chance to drop by here aight? You know me :)

How's life, people? Don't ask me why I'm asking y'guys. Mine... ups and downs, as usual. But the down moments were little bit harder than I thought but yeah, trying to be cool but unfortunately, end up crying alone in a dark room. My parents, friends are the peoples who push me up harder than before, but I'm expecting the another one person who help them bringing me back. Someone who used to be supportive, someone who used to be understandable. I could not thinking what have happened to him right now that made him changed. I know he is now one of the people who's free from school, and soon to be legal to do such things as driving and living in college while I'm here, stuck in myself. I'm used to be emotional, like now, but I won't asking for more than love, from him after this. Expecting and asking for more is too desperate and heartbreaking.

Other than that, I'm kind of disappointed with him and it's hard to say this since I'm having my ego taking over my mind but I'm disappointed with myself, too. I don't know what to say since I'm too egoistic and mad to tell him by myself for some reasons. I don't want to talk bad stuffs about my own boy but I am too fucking mad about this until I can cry in front of this bloody monitor while typing with this damn keyboard. To avoid controversial things going on, I'll cover it by telling some tips about, yeah you should read. Especially for those who's in a long-distance relationship.

#1 If you're in a serious, long-distance relationship and haven't met for a couple of months, you should be considerate about your girl's/boy's feelings (most of the emotional parts is from the girls. Don't believe me? Check your girl's Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr.). Don't be TOO friendly to people. Nak kawan, okay je. Senang cerita, kalau kau lelaki, jangan add perempuaaan je dekat Facebook (especially kalau add semua perempuan cantik je. Pergh.). Kalau kau perempuan, Jangan nak IM je dengan lelaki.

#2 Send them a very good morning/good night text. If you're working and arrived home at 11 or something liddat, you should text them "Are you still awake?" (text laa sweet sweet, aiyoo). If they reply, don't be like "Ohh gtg, sleepy. Text me goodnight text. Bye." or didn't text at all because you're too fucking sleepy while she's/he's already waiting for you to get home. Lagi kesian if they are sleepy but you're acting like a sdfghjds jerk. Kalau dia macam sabar gila nak mati, please give them kudos. If you're too sleepy, just say that you're too tired and need to sleep or give them night phonecalls ke, chicks digs guys who have sleepy voice. Jangan selalu pulak cakap mengantuk mengantuk, kesian dia.

If they didn't reply, just give them a very sweet goodnight text. Tell them that you missed him/her, and express your feelings laah. Let them know you're there for them. You don't know what have they been through on that day. I repeat, don't be such a jerk.

#3 Don't hide anything. Don't fucking hide anything. Just tell them where you are now, who are you with, or whatever. Maybe for you, it's kind of weird to do such thing. Don't hide anything in Facebook, in Twitter. They'll be a mad stalker when they're missing you so badly. Okay here's a funny story of mine. I knew his Facebook password and I can open it whenever I feel so lonely and suspicious about something. C'mon, if you're a protective girlfriend, you'll know my feelings when you have a boyfriend yang macam open-minded or gatal ke whatever lah. So, for girls yang rajin sangat IM my boyfriend benda benda yang boleh buat I jealous, better watch out. Maybe some of them dah kenal but yeah, just watch out. Tapi kalau sedara ke family, tak kisah haha peace ^^v don't be scared, I won't kill you or something. Just being protective since he didn't pay attention to me right now and luahkan dekat other girls. I am sad. Faham tak?

#4 Make them feel more important and special than your ex. Okay, this one ah.. that's why I've highlighted it with other colour. I'll make this short and simple (which is clearly not short and simple). Don't talk to your ex more than your partner. For example; you replied your partner's texts in a very short message while you're chatting with your ex about everything. Your partner will be so fucking sad and offended because they've waited for you, they also wanted to know about you since they're 'your everything'. If your ex is your bestfriend........ I can't say no more but please, control it. If your partner already know you before your ex (that means y'guys have been friends before going into the next level), think about their feelings. I don't really care if you stick with the 'still friends with ex' statement and you still can be friends like your ex but most of the people say it's not good contacting your ex back because they're your mistakes, they're your past. You know what I mean, right? Yeah, I do contact my ex but I'm still regret about having him as my boyfriend back then. And if I can do such things, I want him to extinct because I want to concentrate with my current relationship but obviously from my own post, my boyfriend isn't concentrate with his current relationship. With me. No hate.

Wow, what a long post. Sighs, I'm expressing this because I don't want people to be sad like me because of this kind of situation. I don't want people to be more sadder than I am. From the girls/boys who got the same situation like I am, please be patient. I know you're disappointed but I know it'll lead to a better place, better situations. Be positive. I have a lot things in mind to say about this but I can't describe it to my fingers. Oh to some people, don't be offended to my post. I was just expressing like all people do.

Till the next post, then! I don't know when's the free time to blog. And I don't have any idea what to type. Hahaha ok ciao.